Recently I have been more confused than ever in my life. I have been thinking about what I want for my life. What I want to do in my life. Who I want in my life. Why I have this life. Why I have been feeling sad. Everything. I have been feeling like this for quite some years now but recently I have been feeling it more. I feel like moving. I feel like living my own life. I feel like a loser. I feel like I'm not capable of doing things that I want to do. I feel like a fool for getting in debt. I feel like I'm old and I'm only 23. As pathetic as it may sound I cry about it sometimes. Cause also more than ever I have been feeling so lonely. More lonely than I have ever felt before. I feel like I try too much with friends sometimes and they don't try hard enough. I have felt so lonely. I have felt that I truly only have my family to rely on. And myself. And no one else. I'm just so lost and confused and I know it's up to me to change it. I just don't know how. And I don't know why I feel this way.