July 13, 2014

through the glass window..
Just like the raindrops dripped down the train windows on that cold misty morning my eyes dripped as well as my heart..
It was those kind of tears that you cannot control and they just gush out like a shower head. Looking  out the train window was somewhat depressing. Knowing that I was leaving for good and leaving the love of my life behind was heart breaking. At the airport the minutes of being beside him just got shorter and shorter. I did not want to say good-bye. The time came that I had to go through customs, and that would be it. That would be where I would have to let go of him. I held on so tightly, not wanting to let go thinking of all the good times we had had. And then he kissed me and I left, walking  down the entrance of customs and starring at my love through the glass window. That was the last time I'll see you, through the glass window, for now. I felt so weak, not being able to control my emotions. I finally got into the airplane and those twelve hours and five movies later made me feel somewhat better. 
I have tried to make sense of this a long time ago and I couldn't understand it. I still can't. This is one of the hardest situations I've ever been in my life. It's so hard and I wish that no one will ever go through this.
Now I am back home, with my family. I am here and I'm still getting used to it. Trying to get over the jet lag and trying not to say 'Bonjour' or 'excusez-moi' to people that I see around town. Trying to get used to the fact that I can't just drive ten minutes to go see you and lay down with you. And I'm also trying to get some sense out of this, thinking that this isn't it and that maybe this was meant to happen to toughen our relationship and make us stronger.
I feel like this will be only the beginning to us. There will be more days where we can look at each other and hold each other tight. I'm trying to get the thought off of my mind of how I feel like I had it all and now I have nothing. Cause you're still here, just not next to me, only 5,800 miles away..
And I'll be here waiting, cause you're the love of my life..

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